Day 4

I ordered a full English breakfast this morning which was delicious but the waiter forgot to bring a knife and fork with the meal.  -__-  After breakfast I made a few phone calls then took an uber taxi to the palms shopping mall. I took my DSLR with me but encountered problems with security upon entry. ‘madam, you no use this thing inside this place’ … ‘which thing’ I responded. ‘your cam-eh-rah’ I was like ‘errrm ok but it’s a public place and its my own camera, why cant I take pictures?’ she replied ‘ you can use your phone not this’ pointing to the bridge. In my mind a camera is a camera, the only difference between my bridge and my iphone is, the phone has a multitude of other functions and the camera doesn't produce great quality images. Being the rebel I am I took it in anyway but did not take any pictures, there was no muse. Besides that I was perspiring and more concerned with buying my groceries. I put my camera away. 

After leaving game (not like the game store in the UK, the one in Lagos is a supermarket) a man approached me seeking assistance to purchase a mirror. My first reaction in mind was, what an odd request... I responded in disdain and he said it was for his children. I told him that I too was looking for cheerful givers, don’t be fooled by the camera (he must have seen me put it away after I entered the store) he continued in his attempts to appease me as I headed for the exit, I apologised and told him that I cannot be of assistance but if his children like sweets or candy I would be happy give him some of the packets I just purchased. He gave me the puppy dog eye look, you know... the one my pupils try and give me to get out of a detention. I headed to the food court and had some chicken and noodles.

Later that evening a friend came to pick me up, we drove to Surulere which is a popular town on the mainland and arrived at a swanky place called Ritalora. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, certainly a diamond in the dirt a combination of; bar, lounge, restaurant and club adjoined to a large hotel. We had drinks at the patio garden area over looking sectioned verandas that were beautifully crafted. A few yards ahead was a live band under a large canopy with additional outdoor seating. The interior of the club was furnished with modern funky furniture. It reminded me of the casinos you find in Vegas. Lying adjacent to the club was a large swimming pool about thirty meters long and 12 feet deep, with a stone paved water fountain. Coloured beams ran through the water. There was a private seating area the cream drapes and leather sofas matched intently. I was shocked because I couldn't believe I was in Nigeria lol.

My friend had an issue with his car so we took a yellow taxi back to the island. As we approached the third mainland bridge, I saw a police car, two policemen and one random guy in a polo who shouted ‘hey you, stop there.’ The driver slowed to a halt, a policeman approached with a torchlight to examine the contents of our vehicle. The guy in the polo instructed the driver to pull over and the passengers step out of the vehicle. We did so. At this point my heart began to beat pretty quickly... My thoughts were ‘uggghhhh this Is why I hate the mainland!!! I knew I shouldn’t have come out tonight.’ Meanwhile my friend is interrogated by the guy in the polo ‘where do you work’, ‘I don’t work…. Im looking for a job’ was his response. Then it was my turn I got the police officer though, I mumbled good evening, he asked ‘madam, where do you work’ I said ‘Im a student’ he said ‘where?’ I replied ‘universty’ yes I said it how I spelt it incorporating the best Nigerian accent I had. I couldn't risk a hint of Londoner being given away. ‘which university’ he continued, I stated the same response 'ah university na.' He gazed at me from head to toe then quizzed further ‘where are you from’ ‘ondo state’ I replied, he asked where in Ondo I told him ondo town. He paused then said I could get back into the car….

I think he suspected I was from abroad but was too tired to ask for a bribe. Considering the way I was dressed (full length plunge jumpsuit with heels) he probably thought I was a ‘runs girl’ that my friend was a client I met on the street/bar, and that we were going to a hotel for a good time lol. A 'runs girl' is a common term in Lagos used for females who part take in transactional sex for a living or to supplement their income. 

After they were convinced they wouldn't be getting anything better than chicken change from my so called client, who also happened to be jobless the police told him to enter the vehicle. The driver didn't wait a second more, I wiped my brow.... my friend looked at me and grinned. We broke out in ridiculous laughter but it wasn't funny at the time O.

THAT WAS CLOSE…. A conversation about Nigeria and its issues followed suite. I got back to my hotel around 3.30 had a shower and fell asleep watching sound city wondering if I would ever be able to shoki the way the guys in the video did.