Day 5

So I awake to a loud knock on my bedroom door followed by the receptionist ringing to inform me that the manager has requested to see me, I mumble something along the lines of I’m half asleep then hang up. After getting dressed and packing my things ready to check out I head towards the reception. The manager greeted me, he gave a sincere apology for the shortcomings I experienced at the hotel during my stay. I thanked him for his hospitality and gave feedback informing him that staff lacked attention to detail. We shook hands and departed. Whilst I waited for my Uber taxi I decided to go the restaurant and order a glass of chapman.

I don’t know what the waiter did but the cocktail just wasn't right. Like this is the number one non-alcoholic signature cocktail in Lagos (although I sometimes have mine with a shot of vodka). It was far too sweet and looked more like poorly diluted black current rather than the blood orange a perfectly mixed Chapman should be…. I settled for water. I went to use the toilet, I attempted to flush and realised there was no running water. At that point a notification popped up on my iphone; my Uber taxi had arrived :) THANK GOD, I breathed a sigh of relief dowsed my hands in sanitizer and hoped in.

I arrived at the oriental a few minutes after three pm; A grand Hotel with a very corporate feel.... The woman at reception verified my MasterCard along with photo ID. An international standard hotel means you should expect international prices. I was shown to my room which was a standard on the 10^th floor of the east wing. As soon as I walked in I suddenly became aware of myself. The room was very spacious ….It certainly didn't feel like a standard and it certainly felt like I should have been sharing it with someone. It was odd waking up to such large surroundings.

I had dinner that evening at the hotspot restaurant. The concept is interesting lol they serve you raw Chinese food with a selected sauce which you cook yourself in a pot…. Kind of like chicken noodle soup. The food was nice but I don’t think I cooked it properly. I left the restaurant and headed to the poolside area, I passed the mini bar it was well stocked with what looked like over two hundred brands of alcohol. I felt like sitting on one of the high chairs and choosing a selection of rum, then I considered my liver and proceed to the pool area.

I couldn't  get over of how beautiful Lagos lagoon was at night, I was fixated by the gentle breeze and calmness of the water…

Day 4

I ordered a full English breakfast this morning which was delicious but the waiter forgot to bring a knife and fork with the meal.  -__-  After breakfast I made a few phone calls then took an uber taxi to the palms shopping mall. I took my DSLR with me but encountered problems with security upon entry. ‘madam, you no use this thing inside this place’ … ‘which thing’ I responded. ‘your cam-eh-rah’ I was like ‘errrm ok but it’s a public place and its my own camera, why cant I take pictures?’ she replied ‘ you can use your phone not this’ pointing to the bridge. In my mind a camera is a camera, the only difference between my bridge and my iphone is, the phone has a multitude of other functions and the camera doesn't produce great quality images. Being the rebel I am I took it in anyway but did not take any pictures, there was no muse. Besides that I was perspiring and more concerned with buying my groceries. I put my camera away. 

After leaving game (not like the game store in the UK, the one in Lagos is a supermarket) a man approached me seeking assistance to purchase a mirror. My first reaction in mind was, what an odd request... I responded in disdain and he said it was for his children. I told him that I too was looking for cheerful givers, don’t be fooled by the camera (he must have seen me put it away after I entered the store) he continued in his attempts to appease me as I headed for the exit, I apologised and told him that I cannot be of assistance but if his children like sweets or candy I would be happy give him some of the packets I just purchased. He gave me the puppy dog eye look, you know... the one my pupils try and give me to get out of a detention. I headed to the food court and had some chicken and noodles.

Later that evening a friend came to pick me up, we drove to Surulere which is a popular town on the mainland and arrived at a swanky place called Ritalora. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, certainly a diamond in the dirt a combination of; bar, lounge, restaurant and club adjoined to a large hotel. We had drinks at the patio garden area over looking sectioned verandas that were beautifully crafted. A few yards ahead was a live band under a large canopy with additional outdoor seating. The interior of the club was furnished with modern funky furniture. It reminded me of the casinos you find in Vegas. Lying adjacent to the club was a large swimming pool about thirty meters long and 12 feet deep, with a stone paved water fountain. Coloured beams ran through the water. There was a private seating area the cream drapes and leather sofas matched intently. I was shocked because I couldn't believe I was in Nigeria lol.

My friend had an issue with his car so we took a yellow taxi back to the island. As we approached the third mainland bridge, I saw a police car, two policemen and one random guy in a polo who shouted ‘hey you, stop there.’ The driver slowed to a halt, a policeman approached with a torchlight to examine the contents of our vehicle. The guy in the polo instructed the driver to pull over and the passengers step out of the vehicle. We did so. At this point my heart began to beat pretty quickly... My thoughts were ‘uggghhhh this Is why I hate the mainland!!! I knew I shouldn’t have come out tonight.’ Meanwhile my friend is interrogated by the guy in the polo ‘where do you work’, ‘I don’t work…. Im looking for a job’ was his response. Then it was my turn I got the police officer though, I mumbled good evening, he asked ‘madam, where do you work’ I said ‘Im a student’ he said ‘where?’ I replied ‘universty’ yes I said it how I spelt it incorporating the best Nigerian accent I had. I couldn't risk a hint of Londoner being given away. ‘which university’ he continued, I stated the same response 'ah university na.' He gazed at me from head to toe then quizzed further ‘where are you from’ ‘ondo state’ I replied, he asked where in Ondo I told him ondo town. He paused then said I could get back into the car….

I think he suspected I was from abroad but was too tired to ask for a bribe. Considering the way I was dressed (full length plunge jumpsuit with heels) he probably thought I was a ‘runs girl’ that my friend was a client I met on the street/bar, and that we were going to a hotel for a good time lol. A 'runs girl' is a common term in Lagos used for females who part take in transactional sex for a living or to supplement their income. 

After they were convinced they wouldn't be getting anything better than chicken change from my so called client, who also happened to be jobless the police told him to enter the vehicle. The driver didn't wait a second more, I wiped my brow.... my friend looked at me and grinned. We broke out in ridiculous laughter but it wasn't funny at the time O.

THAT WAS CLOSE…. A conversation about Nigeria and its issues followed suite. I got back to my hotel around 3.30 had a shower and fell asleep watching sound city wondering if I would ever be able to shoki the way the guys in the video did.

Day 3

Today was an interesting day. One of the things that keep bringing me back to Lagos is the fact that every holiday is practically an adventure waiting to happen. This morning I checked out of Bogobiri house in Ikoyi, prior to checking out I informed the receptionist that I would like to pay for my lodging via POS (chip and pin) she said this was fine and proceeded to retrieve a hand held device then switched it on. For some reason It took some time to receive signal. Me being the impatient individual that I am decided to go to the ATM and withdraw the cash directly. BAD IDEA….. After this I cannot recall what happened in depth but I lost my master card L

The good news is that I walked to the nearest first bank branch, which happened to be 3 minutes walk away, (how convenient)  within thirty minutes of arriving I was attended to, filled out a replacement card form, given my new card, AND activated my pin. Like how cool is that. In the UK I'd have to wait 3-5 working days for my new card, and an additional 3-5 days for my pin -___- after which I would need to call  my building society to activate.

Now the card stress was out the way and I called an Uber cab to take me to my next hotel In Victoria Island called cotton suites. It was a nice place, very modern, with a hint of surve.. Things were going well, I was shown to my room, unpacked, showered and had a nap. I woke up and remembered I didn't take any antimalarial drugs prior to my departure so I got dressed and took an uber cab to the med plus pharmacy Ikoyi branch. It took about 35 minutes because of traffic (usually a ten minute journey) then I hit the road in search of pounded yam that my stomach had been craving since I arrived. I got to jevinik only for the waiter to tell me there was no pounded yam available. They offered semolina or TUWO as an alternative which I declined. Jumped back in the uber cab and requested that he take me to yellow chilly I had been to twice before and food was nice, unfortunately no pounded yam either. Not only was The waiter rude and chauvinistic he didn't offer any alternatives or care to find out what kind of food I would be willing to try instead. I left in a sour mood, and ended up back in my hotel were I was so hungry that I literally ran to the restaurant to order pounded yam with egusi stew.. Now why didn't I just have dinner here to begin with???  For the record i'll have you know that was the best pounded yam I have ever tasted in my life :D miss ope was a happy bunny lol. The stew was Moorish with tender pieces of meat and contained just the right balance of peppers, melon seed, spices and stew.  I could not finish it!! I know i'll be back for more sha.

At this point I head back upstairs, to my room looking two months pregnant lol. I open the door and put my room card in the slot. Light comes on, low and behold I see three YES THREE baby cockroaches scuttling around the room. My poor eyes, I winced and screamed then ran to grab my slippers and stomp the pests but my eye was half open plus I  was trying to look away at the same time. Super EEW! Sooo I called reception put on my best Nigerian accent and said ‘good-evening sir, I am calling from room 14, umm are you guys aware that you have a cockroach problem?’ his response ‘woaah, really?, nooo am not aware, this is serious, I will send some one up to you right away’ he apologised and quickly put down the phone. I was told I have to wait outside the room for fifteen minutes whilst they use a special exterminating spray to rid the room of any insects. I went downstairs and sat down at reception to write up todays events

hopefully the problem is sorted now…

Day 2

Woke up early today, made several phone calls then tried to go back to sleep which didn't quite work. The calls and texts kept coming in...

I ended up going to an engagement reception on the mainland with a friend. It was last minute thing so had to rush to get ready. 

Eye make up done, hair partially straightened, outfit selected. All I had to do now was iron my outfit. My travel iron decided to give up its ghost just like that, no warning no nothing. -__-  

My friend was in a haste so I called the laundry extension... No answer.

I ended up wearing the only item in my luggage that was not creased, a fuchsia dress. Had a few sand-flies enjoy my sweet London blood, but I survived. 

I sometimes question the reliability of DEET sprays *rolls eyes* 

Anyway the engagement; it was really lovely to see Nigerians from different tribes celebrating together. The majority of attendants wore aso ebi, or Ankara dutch wax prints (a type of traditional African clothing).

Food was lovely, music was great, atmosphere was vibrant and the venue was beautifully decorated. The catering team served up mains, starters and desserts that were pretty much international standard. The Canape's and exotic looking desserts were definitely stomach teasers!  But for some reason I just wasn't in the mood. People kept asking if I was Ok… I guess I suck at disguising my feelings lol.  Deep down I felt extremely under dressed because I couldn't wear my chosen outfit, and was unable to straighten my hair properly because of time. My make up was also minimal….. managed a coat of mascara. The person that invited me ensured me prior to arrival not to worry, that 'its just a small engagement party'… small indeed, when I saw the attendees dressed in a range of creative aso ebi styles (the same colour code but different designs), glamorous clutch bags to match, and pristine wrapped gele (traditional head dress) without a crease in sight. Make up on every single female was on 'fleek' and to top it off the grand hall, which had been decorated in snow white drapes and silver décor infused with lilacs and pinks my jaw just dropped! How could I be dressed so informally.

A woman behind me actually complimented me for looking ‘simple’ which I found strange. This was so not the time, or place to be looking simple. 

Anyway we left in the evening, my friend had some alcohol which I wasn't too happy about but hey, got back to my hotel in one piece, ordered some pepper soup then headed for bed. 

Day 1

So I arrived to Lagos, yesterday evening and I have to say what a relaxing and calm journey it was. I didn't experience any stress at all. My only discomfort was the passenger seated by me in the plane, who decided to ignore the armrest diving us and slide over into my personal space.

We touched down a few minutes to 6 pm. I was able to pass through the health screening point and immigration in under twenty five minutes. It took a further fifteen to retrieve a trolley and pick up my luggage from the conveyor belt.

I proceeded to the exit stopping to top up my phone and withdraw some cash from the ATM machine. My friend was already waiting for me at arrivals… we took a shuttle bus from arrivals to the airport car park where he loaded my luggage in his trunk, and began our journey towards Ikoyi.

Just when I thought the journey was going nice and swiftly I heard a pummeling noise coming from the rear of the vehicle. We pulled over from the express way to find the rear left tyre completely flat. This was a serious puncture. By this point in my mind I am grumbling saying ‘oh lord why this? Now were going to be stuck here for ages.’ I was not impressed, however tried to assist my driver in changing the tyre to the spare one by turning on the torch light on my iPhone. Despite not having all the necessary resources my driver managed to replace the punctured tyre in under ten minutes… low and behold we were back on the road again YAY! I arrived at my hotel in Ikoyi shortly before 9pm made an order of chicken and chips... I slept like a baby.